Uhmm...yay I have been two years in this place. So much stories and so much memories here. Should I leave? Or should I stay? Yea they asked me to be courage to go catching my dream, go for what I really want. I am wondering, and hesitating whether is that really what I longing for? This thing made me felt lost. I give my life for fate, if I get it I will go and explore a new chapter over there; on the other hands, if I did not get it, I will stay and continue my endless stories here. This few days, but I know if only I'd stop trying to think about that, I just can start focusing in my studies. I keep on comparing the reason why should I leave. Do you wondering what is spinning in my mind lately, here you go:
# Getting bored
If you know me well and update my latest news frequently, you would definitely know that I am a person who love to explore the world that's why I love to travel with my family or soul mates but not alone for sure. I know there were many people love to go for travel alone, but I will feel lonely and boring that nobody can share with during travel and the main thing is I am a pretty girl that will be dangerous for me if travel alone abroad haha. Thus, I am getting bored with the environment here and planning to try something new outside. I am hating my life doing the same old routine day by day, made me felt pointless. So, stop complaining, stop grumbling, stop dreaming, go ahead! Nothing is impossible if I really want. Want or don't want, just this two matters simple as that.
# A chance belong to me
As a friend told me that everyone got the chance belong to ourselves. Different people has different chance. I envy my friends go for Taiwan voluntary camp. This motivated me to grab this golden opportunity. Chance--->Choice--->Change. Obviously, I wish that I have a little change and a little move in my life. Take a step. Time is now. Live for dreams. I do hope this will become one of the checked resolution in my 2015. Between, I have one more resolutions going to realise with my best sister xoxo Doing what we love. Doing what we want. *Excited* *Scream*
# A new beginning after break up
Love doesn't always hurt, but it usually does when it ends. It drive me made up my mind shaping my life story after that. I truly know that why I chose to end up that peaceful relationship. I was just trying to end the current pain and difficulties without considering the future in that bad situation happened to me. Frankly, I had already let go but I could feel him still hurting. so it's better don't contact and don't have a meet up after break up for temporary. I hope I can love myself more before loving someone and go for some adventures and challenging activities. I am appreciated that I still got my lovely family and many awesome friends by my side. Feeling blessed indeed.
# Future advantage
I have been scrolling Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter during free time, Recently saw a lot of friends who studied abroad especially Europe countries, I am really envy them have the chance. If I really get the opportunity to go there, I can wider my social circle and participate in a lot of events there. For this student exchange programmes, I can gain new experiences and get a better job in my future too.
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There are so many benefits for me to leave here right? So why am I still hesitating and contradicting?
Here are the things made me wish to stay here forever:
# The moments with friends here
I did spent so many unforgettable days with them that caused me loath and reluctant to part with them. Sabah family and coursemates here who treat me as a princess always, caring, companion and fooling around all the time. We have been going through so much happiness and darkness. Birthday celebration, and event participating, those are the sweetest memories in my university life ever. Never regret choose to come here for further my studies.
# Entertainment
So many entertainment here, rafting, island hopping, hiking and so many fun activities here. I am just staying beside a shopping centre. I can have a Starbucks drinks when I wish to high tea with my friends. I can go for a movie anytime especially in the midnight time. I can go for an outing having a nice meals within a call. If I go there, the entertainment I can only involving is travel to Thailand and take part in university events. In contrary, I can more focus and concentrate in my course works and will not be easily influenced. Ermm...sounds not too bad though.
# Adaptation
There will be a challenge for me in adapting to a new environment. It will be tough for me as I am quite introvert and always passive in making new friends around. Thus, this is the things I have to cope with, I hope I can make it successfully. I always need a companion by my side to guide me, alright now is the time to grow.
Don't expect much, just go for it. It is okay. Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. Good thing are coming down all the road, just don't stop walking. I am happy that finally I made up my mind and feeling settled down. Between, I want to see my level of courage so just go ahead Erynn! You can do it!
Yea, I am prepared I am ready to go! Wish me luck kay (:
XOXO
By Erynn
1 comment:
Fighting for whatever decision u gonna make or u ady make, the only things that we all have now is the courage that u will never found when u r old. All the best!
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